Demons Cluttering Around My Face Showing No Emotion

I am so drained; mentally , physically and emotionally.
I wish I had energy to get off of my lazy fat ass and exercise to lose weight because I am so god damned fat. Today I wore my largest pair of jeans .. without a belt. :( What a punch in the face. What a way to realise the truth. God I'm such a friggin failure.

My day was so long.
I had double history this morning and I am so bad at that class so it was very long and boring.
Lucky I had the first lunch (my school has three seperate lunches) but I couldn't find any of my friends! So I texted "Lorraine" and she said she had second lunch with "Karen." 
It was a nice time honestly. I was glad to be around "Karen" because last night I came very close to killing myself and she knows this, and I felt like I had to be around soomeone who understands me.
I ended up skipping English Class and took all three lunches because I was not in the mood to sit through English, plus I needed that extra exercise of walking around the school. I've never skipped before, but I really don't care anymore. My mom is going to go ape shit on me, but what the fuck, it doesn't matter. English is the worst class anyways and such a waste of time.
I don't think I'll be able to live until my 16th birthday so why should it matter, I've got to try to enjoy my life.
And god, I cannot stop thinking how fat I am. I am terrified to weigh myself because I bet I am 130lbs by now. I just keep gaining weight! Everyone is saying I look healthier now, and honestly I feel stronger but these 15 extra pounds I gained have made me so depressed, it's not safe. So I've got to lose weight to make myself happier and not suicidal. Ugh.
Good news? I've water fasted all day, and I am going strong. I have gymnastics tonight, I want to go for the exercise but I really don't want to go because I'm so ashamed of my body that I want to hide away forever until I lose weight.
Oh, did I mention that theres this guy obsessed with me? Well there is. He doesn't even live near me, although he lived here a year ago. He keeps sending me messages on facebook and calling me "beautiful" and shit like that ... He's asked three of my friends to tell me he likes me. God. Plus, two other guys asked me out within the week. I hate this attention! Its the god damn weight I gained thats causing it! I think I'd MUCH rather not get all this attention from guys ... Don't get me wrong - I'm straight. Just it makes me so uncomfortable and I know they don't actually like me for who I am. I bet they just "like" my fat body and want to make fun of it...

PS: I JUST WEIGHED MYSELF! I was terrified to but after I first published this post I realised I have to if I want to lose weight. And thank god, I'm not 130lbs! I am 125lbs though ... same spot as a week ago but thats because I binged a lot lately. Oh well ... at least I didn't gain.
Plus, I planned out the rest of my month foodwise, I'll post it later because I have to go.