I'm Being Tortured By the Future of Things That Are Yet To Be.

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!

Somebody kill me please!

I can't stand being fat, and today I've had under 600 calories in fruit (even though I planned to water fast, I decided to start that tomorrow.) I was okay with it, felt like purging but didn't. I can still feel the apple in my stomach,

Then what do my parents do? They go to the fucking grocery store and buy pizza with meat on it, chips, chip dip, chocolate. THE DAMN PIZZA DOESN'T HAVE NUTRITIONAL INFO ON THE SIDE! All for us all the have for supper. I don't want any, damn it! I'm just going to keep gaining weight while they smile about it. Don't they see how unhappy I am with my weight? I'm so fucking enormous! I do not need all the carbs in that God damn pizza.

I don't care if my BMI puts me at the low end of the healthy range.
19.0. YUCK. That's such a lie because I am so much fatter than that.
I miss having a BMI in the 16's. I NEED to get back there, I'm such an eyesore, so freaking fat and ugly.

I need to get to 105lbs by the end of the month.
That's 20 sloppy pounds I have to lose in 24 days.
I can do it, but not if they keep feeding me.
I think my water fast will be for a week. Then I will eat only 200 calories in vegetables for 4 days, then 500 calories in fruits and vegetables for 3 days. Then anything under 800 calories for one day.  And repeat.